段貞夙  老師 (Susan)    

 
Why  個案心得及老師解析
 

* New! 焦慮與抗拒成為一個照顧他人的角色 2018.11
Being Anxious and Resisting to Become the Role of Taking Care of Others
* 莫名的潔癖恐慌 2018.4
Inexplicable Panic of Fearing to Be Dirty 
* 憂鬱症 2018.1
Depression 
* 童年匱乏愛,導致偏差的愛情及人生方式  2017.7
* 焦慮沮喪 2017.7
* 恐慌症  2017.1
* 煩惱於教養孩子及創業工作
* 內在能量依賴沒長大,導致的情感與人際痛苦
* 恐懼、不敢表達、選擇及承擔---修正負面模式習氣 
* 工作及人生茫然無方向
* 憂鬱症,缺乏動力,易怒
* 情感挫敗不斷重覆
* 人際恐懼、自我封閉
* 既逃避與競爭的矛盾性格
* 暴食及人際上的不開心
* 憂鬱症,人際退縮
* 身心症狀、心悸、恐慌症
* 婆媳夫妻親子關係緊張與憤怒
* 缺乏自信,不敢承擔,甲狀腺機能亢進
* 習於逃避,婚姻不順遂
* 暴食與購物狂之成癮

 
 

 *憂鬱症 Depression

 看見重生的自己
Seeing myself be reborn


Alice

  我是一個非常喜歡用頭腦的人,更精確的說,我是一個只相信合乎理性邏輯和自己所認知的知識框架的人,直到碰見段老師,才讓我開啟了與潛意識強大力量以及與自己心中流動的愛相遇的過程!  

I relied on my brain, to be exact, I was used to only believe in logic and think inside my box. Until meeting Teacher Duan, I met with the strong subconscious’ power and the love which flows in my heart.  

  今年5月,因為長期承擔高壓的照顧責任、工作壓力以及某些無法掌控的意外事件,我開始發生莫名焦慮與恐懼的情形,因為自己15年前曾經罹患憂鬱症、當時雖然透過精神科的治療漸漸痊癒且重回生活常軌,但記憶中那段每天像行屍走肉的生活卻令我對精神科藥物怯步。在朋友的介紹下,我於8月初來到段老師的諮詢室,第一次會談時老師花了近4個小時的瞭解我過去一生中的關鍵事件、並詢問我對這些事件的感受與自我解釋,在這個過程裡,我發現自己對18歲以前的事幾乎都只有非常模糊的印象,特別是6歲前的記憶更是接近空白。當時老師說,這與記憶力無關,完全是看妳自己想記得還是遺忘(壓抑)這些生命事件,當時我覺得半信半疑,因為我的成長其實尚稱一路順遂,既沒有家暴也沒有父母離異這類特殊事件,我不懂自己為何要壓抑記憶。接著老師就說她有一點擔心我可能還沒有準備好要面對自己的過去,但我認為自己的痛苦已經到了極限,非要解決不可,所以我還是和老師約了第二次諮詢的時間。 

In May of 2017, I couldn’t help but fall in anxiety and fear due to heavy responsibilities of long-term care and some accidents beyond control. But seeing a psychiatrist and taking medicine wouldn’t be my choice because I used to suffer from depression 15 years ago and the psychiatrist’s treatment cured me, but I was like  a zombie in that period. With a friend’s introduction, I found the “Orlando Consultation” of Teacher Duan in August. In the first conversation, the teacher spent 4 hours realizing critical events in my life and inquired about my feelings and self-interpretation to those events. During the process, I found that my impression of those things before the age of 18 was very vague, especially the period before I was 6. The Teacher told me that it has nothing to do with memory ability but your mind---you want to remember or forget(repress) these events. At that time, I couldn’t fully believe because I thought things almost go well in my growth without encountering domestic violence or parents’ divorce, I had no idea why I repress my memory. And the Teacher told me she was worried that I hadn’t ready for facing my past, but I thought my pain has reached the limit, so I still made the second appointment with the Teacher.  

  第二次諮詢就正式進入潛意識處理的過程,果然如老師預期的,我的(頭腦)意識不斷的與潛意識對抗,腦袋裡一直懷疑著自己所體驗的究竟是潛意識還是自我塑造(或回溯)的記憶,理性思維在這個過程中不斷的想要掌控和判斷,於是潛意識裡出現的畫面也因我的(自我質疑)干擾而片片斷斷,但我仍然斷斷續續的看到我童年的畫面裡,我常是孤單寂寞、安靜等待且心中懷著許多不安的。在諮詢結束前的冥想中,老師透過我自己不經意回答的話語中,巧妙的找到了我最重要的關鍵字-「努力」,原來從小,我就因為雙親的忙碌和優秀姐姐的光環,成了一個相對被忽略的孩子,為了希望得到注意和肯定,我只能不斷的用努力、努力、更努力來增加自己的存在感,希望自己也能被看見、被肯定,被喜歡;而我心裡最終極的恐懼,則是要一個人去面對父母的死亡,以及孤單終老、貧病交加的晚年!

In the second consultation, it formally stepped into subconscious process. As the Teacher expected, my awareness(brain) constantly fought with subconsciousness. I kept wondering whether what I had experienced is from the subconsciousness or self-imagination. Rational thinking wanted to control and judge in the process, so the pictures in my subconsciousness were interfered by my self-doubt and cleaved into fragments. But I still saw the scenes of my childhood that I was always lonely, quietly waiting and restless. In the meditation during the consultation, through my words, the Teacher skillfully found the most important keyword of mine---“efforts”. The fact was that since I was a child, I was relatively neglected because my parents’ busyness and my excellent elder sister’s aura. Therefore, I made more and more efforts to get attention and approval, I was that eager to be seen, approved and loved. And the ultimate fear in my heart is to face the death of my parents and the loneliness and poverty in my old age!

  在第三次和第四次的潛意識處理中,老師分別帶我回到了7歲至22歲的求學階段,以及大學畢業後至今的工作階段,在這兩次處理裡,因為之前都實際操練了老師每次給的回家練習方法,我漸漸的愈來愈能放下自己的頭腦和意識,跟著老師的引導,一步一步的隨著潛意識前進。我感到神奇的是,潛意識真的會自動篩選最有意義和最關鍵的資訊,隨著老師的引導而浮現出來,例如在看到工作的階段,其實我前後做過好幾個工作,但當老師說「潛意識自動來到下一個工作場景」的時候,一些不具關鍵性的工作就會在記憶的時間軸上自動被忽略,而跳到最重要的那個畫面,讓我不得不信服我們的內在力量之強大。就如同兒童時期一樣,「努力」是我一生的魔咒,我總是在意別人的眼光和評價,凡事都要做得更好、再好、最好,卻從來沒有去關心過自己的心,是不是能負荷這麼多的要求、標準和需要,最終,我成了一個只為滿足他人需要(其實是為了滿足自己想得到他人的肯定)而失去自我的「四不像」,於是覺得自己是犧牲者,逐漸對生活的一切充滿抱怨和憤怒,於是,這些因為擔心無法扮演好角色、無法達成他人需求的長期焦慮,徹底的擊垮了我的身心,而我不斷鞭策自己要趕快好起來的那份「急」,又成了加速我身心狀況惡化的最大殺手,老師引導我自己在潛意識裡看到並體會這個重要的道理,我才終於真正從心裡明白放慢步調、不向外求的重要性。

In the third and fourth subconscious consultation, the Teacher led me to go back to my studying process of the age of 7 and 22 and the work stage after graduation from college. In the two consultations, I could gradually lay my brain and awareness down and followed the subconsciousness with the Teacher’s guide because I practiced the methods which the Teacher gave me. I was amazed that the subconsciousness would automatically search the most meaningful and crucial information, and they arise in my mind with the Teacher’s guide. For example, when I saw the work stage, I actually did several jobs; however, when the Teacher said ”subconsciousness automatically came to the next work scene”, some non-critical work were skipped and jumped to the most important scene. It made me believe in the strength of our inner power. As in the childhood, “efforts” is the curse of my life, I always cared about people’s evaluation. I thought I had to better, better and better and never care for my heart whether it can afford so many demands, standards and needs. In the end, I lost myself in the process of satisfying others’ needs (in fact, what I did was to satisfy my need of getting others’ approval). Therefore, I felt I was a victim, and then complained and was angry at everything in life. So, my mentality and physicality were crushed by these long-term anxieties of not playing a good role and not meet others’ needs. In the other hand, my “rush” of pushing myself to get better soon accelerated the exacerbation of my mental and physical condition. The Teacher guided me to experience this important truth in the subconsciousness so that from the bottom of my heart I truly realized the importance of slowing down and looking inside my heart.  

  在第四次處理結束後,其實我的焦慮和恐懼已經開始逐步的減輕,看待身邊人、事、物的感覺也漸漸有了些奇妙的改變,之前覺得是生命重擔、希望他們盡早離開的年邁父母,現在對我來說變成值得感謝的存在,雖然辛苦,但因為他們還在,我才能感受到自己身邊還有親人、還有人關心和愛;之前覺得相處間總隔著一層穿不透的紗、必須謹言慎行的公婆,突然也變得和我之間的氣氛輕鬆自在了起來,以前我從不願意拿公婆送給我的東西,深怕有所虧欠,但現在我會樂意接受他們的付出,並且感受到那些舉動背後的關心;之前和朋友互動時,不論說話或做事,總是習慣小心翼翼的拿捏分寸,覺得自己如果不是善解人意、體貼退讓的話,就不會得到大家的認同和喜歡,但現在我更自在的展現自己真實的樣子,不再刻意討好,也不再那麼在意他人的評價了,這些,都不是我有意識的改變,而是奇妙的、潛意識的轉化。

After the fourth consultation, actually my anxiety and fear were relieved step by step, and my feelings of seeing people and things around me gradually began to change amazingly. For example, my old parents, whom I thought were burdens of my life and hoped could leave as soon as possible before, though caring about them is still hard, but now they are whom I want to thank a lot. They are still here so that I can have relatives and can feel caring and love. My in-laws, whom I thought it was hard to get along with at ease before, but now we have more comfortable atmosphere. And I couldn’t accept things they give to me before because I was afraid to owe them, but now I can accept the things and feel their caring behind those things. In addition, I was accustomed to treading a fine line when interacting with my friends very carefully because I thought if I was not so considerate and thoughtful that I couldn’t be accepted and loved by them. But now I feel more free to show my true self, don’t please others on purpose anymore and feel less concerned about others’ evaluation.  All of these changes are not controlled by my consciousness but brought by the wonderful subconsciousness.    

  最後一次諮詢,老師帶我去看了我過往的幾段感情,讓我看到它們雖然看來模式幾乎相同,但裡面的本質卻有所不同,我也看到自己在愛情中真正在渴求的是甚麼、真正在意的又是什麼,而那些過往的傷害都已經過去,我既不需要原諒、也不需要懊悔,就只是真正接納當時的自己,承認自己在每個階段中都有不同的需要,然後繼續珍惜現在身邊的關係,用感激的心,去經營每一天的日子!

In the last consultation, the Teacher guided me(in the subconsciousness) to view my several love affairs in the past. It made me realize that those patterns were seemed to be the same from one another, but the essence inside was different. I saw what I was truly eager for and what I really cared about in the affairs. And I realized that past harm was over, I don’t need to forgive or regret. I just accept myself then and know that I have different needs at different periods of time. Then continue to treasure the relationship now and live my everyday life with gratitude!             

  真的很感謝段老師帶領我走過這一段奇特的過程,讓我體驗到身體和心靈的力量是多麼珍貴,多麼值得我們放下頭腦、好好的傾聽和疼愛,老師一路上的耐心陪伴,讓我最終堅持走完全程,看見最美的風景,我覺得自己不是回到「過去的自己」,而是經歷了一個「完全的重生」,也希望有更多正在痛苦中掙扎的人,能和我一樣,重新看見生命的美好。 

I really appreciate that Teacher Duan led me to pass through the special process which made me experience how precious the strength of physicality and mentality(subconsciousness) is. It is worthy for us to put our brain (consciousness) down, listen to it, and love it. With the Teacher’s patient accompany, I insisted to accomplish the journey eventually and saw the most beautiful scenery. I think I didn’t go back to “the past self” but experienced “thorough rebirth”. I also hope that more people who are struggling in pain can see the beauty of life again as me.   


段老師的話 (Teacher Duan’s words)

艾莉絲是我一位中醫友人介紹來的個案,看到她的第一眼,是很心疼她的,我相信一定是心理因素讓她變得憔悴哀傷。在初次會談的詳細詢問梳爬之下,我當場對她之所以會得了憂鬱症等這些身心狀況,其背後的來龍去脈,在我心底已經有了八九成的了解,我聽到她說她身心痛苦,對身旁一切都感到絕望地想結束生命時,我心裡其實是著急的,因為我知道可以怎麼解決她的問題,而且對我來說,那條處理之路一如在地圖上已經很清楚,不難,但是一如她上述分享裡說的,難的在於她似乎還沒準備好面對潛伏在她成長經驗裡的一切,而這個難,是我無能為力的,所以在處理中,是一場意識/頭腦與潛意識/心靈的激烈抗戰。我至今仍記憶深刻,在潛意識處理的過程裡,如果做個比喻,我是嚮導,她是登山客,我明明很熟悉要走哪條路,可以帶她走到她想去的地方,但是她的抗拒/恐懼面對其內在,對我們來說,猶如在山路上遇到了天降暴雪,讓我們前進之路變得極度困難,一般來說,遇到這種情況,我通常會直接建議個案先暫停,等個案準備好再來做,但面對艾利絲,我當場也不敢喊停,因為我真的很怕這一刻我一鬆手,明天她會不會就不存在在這世界上了。有一種「我扛也要把她扛上山的決心」,所以我記得那天幫她做完潛意識處理,我自己確實也精疲力竭了。當那天她離開諮詢室時,我自認這天的處理,應該能讓她開始有好的轉變了。    

Alice was a case introduced by a Chinese medicine doctor friend of mine. When I saw her at first glance, I felt sympathetic towards her and I believed that it must be mental factors which made her so sad and gaunt. After detailed inquiries of the first conversation, I was almost sure about the ins and out of why she suffered from physical and mental symptoms, such as depression. When I heard her saying that she was painful both in mentality and physicality and wanted to end her life because of feeling hopeless about everything, I was worried. Although I knew clearly how to deal with her problems, and the path of dealing with her problems was as obvious as being directed on the map and wasn’t difficult. However, as what she said in the sharing above, she seemed not to be ready for facing all the things hidden in her growing experience. Under this circumstance, I could do nothing about her resistance.  Therefore, it was a fierce battle between consciousness/brain and subconsciousness/mentality. I still remember the process profoundly. If stating this by a metaphor, I was a guide and she was a climber, I was familiar with which way to go could I take her to the place she wanted to go. But her resistance and fear of facing her inner mind, for us, as if we had encountered a blizzard in the mountain road, so it became extremely difficult for us to go forward. In general, facing such condition, I often directly advised the cases to stop temporarily and come again when they are ready. But facing Alice, I didn’t dare to stop on the spot because I was really scared that if I let her go at this moment, I didn’t know whether she would exist in this world tomorrow. It was “a resolution of must taking her to the top of the mountain, even carrying her on my back!” So I still remember that I was really exhausted after the subconscious consultation that day. When she left the consulting room, I thought that the result should take her to start a good change.

然而,她在下一次已經預約好的時間之前,寫了簡訊來,說要暫停不做了。我向來尊重個案的任何決定,特別是還有抗拒、沒準備好的個案。但是答應她取消之後,我還是常不經意想起她,總是惋惜都走到這兒了,為什麼不再多走幾步下去就可以完全改變了呢?她就可以好好愉快地活在這世界上。之後,我忍不住告訴那位介紹她來的中醫朋友,我說,真的好可惜,我可以解決的,她可以好起來的,那位中醫朋友說,好,我來推一下。

However, she sent a short message to me before the next appointment, saying that she had to pause the consultation. I always respect any decisions of the cases, especially when they still resist and aren’t ready to face. But at this time, after canceling the consultation, I still often thought of her and felt sorry that she has come here, why didn’t she take more steps and then she could be completely changed? If so, she could live in the world happily. After that, I couldn’t help but tell the Chinese medicine doctor friend who introduced her to come. I said that “It was really a pity. I could deal with her problems and she could get better.” The friend said ”Ok, I will push this thing.”    

終於,有一天,有位自稱是艾利絲的先生打電話給我,說艾莉絲想再來,但不好意思,殊不知我高興極了,請她趕快來吧。

Eventually, one day, a man who claimed himself as Alice’s husband called me and said that Alice wanted to come again but she was embarrassed. She didn’t know that I was so happy and welcomed her.

再次見面的這回,她是不抗拒了,但是一如她寫的,她的那份「急」,急著看自己怎麼沒立刻完全好起來,又把她自己弄得更沮喪焦慮,以致又興起想結束自己的念頭,我花了些時間開導她,讓她明白,再快也要一個過程,愈急愈適得其反,請她就信任我,照著我在每次處理後給她的回家練習,去做就對了。

This time when we met again, she didn’t resist anymore, but as she wrote, her “rush” which made her too rush to see herself why not get better soon, and then she became more depressed and anxious so that her thought of ending life was arouse again. So it took me some time to let her know that it had to go through some processes and the truth of “more haste, less speed”. I told her to trust me and what she had to do was following the “homework” I gave her to practice.         

這回,她開始願意真實全盤面對自己了,也都認真照做我給的回家練習,於是之後幾次見到她時,發現她整個人真的完全變了,從第一次我看到她時的虛弱、不悅、憔悴,變得有力量、愉悅、美麗,也如她文章裡提到,她與周圍的人際關係(與父母、公婆、先生、朋友)也開始有了正面轉變。       

This time, she began to be willing to truly face herself and practiced the homework I gave her diligently. Therefore, when I saw her several times later, she was felt like a whole new person. I still remember that when I saw her at the first time, she was that weak, unhappy and gaunt, but she had become so powerful, happy and beautiful! Also, as what she said in the article, the relationship among her and people around her (parents, in-laws, husband and friends) also began to change positively.

因為這份工作的原因,我接觸過許多憂鬱症的朋友,所以我知道憂鬱症的朋友是很辛苦的,但請相信這是可以改變的,只要真的全盤面對,並得到專業適當的潛意識引導,每個人內在本具的智慧一定能被啟動來解決、平復這些造成憂鬱症的問題、恐懼、創傷。

Because of this job, I have met many people with depression so that I know that it is very hard for those who suffered from depression. But please believe that the condition can be changed as long as you really face it and get professional and proper subconscious guidance, every person's inner nature wisdom must be able to be activated to solve and relieve these problems, fear and trauma that cause depression.

艾莉絲是近乎半年前的個案,如今她應該已經回到職場,我在此放上她這篇分享,同時想對艾莉絲說,還是要繼續維持我們之前的練習喔,祝福艾莉絲活得開心、充實、幸福,因為你已經重生了!

Alice was a case who found me six months ago, now she may have gone back to work. At the same time of posting her sharing here, I want to tell her that “Don’t forget to maintain our previous practice~ And I wish Alice happiness and fulfillment because you have been reborn!”       

 

 

 

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